F* Ed Hardy!

“Hey Christian Audigier… Thanks for ruining America…” is how my new favorite song, F**k Ed Hardy, by Dirt Nasty starts.

Christian Audigier, the man who brought us overpriced trucker hats in 2001, is now ruining the world once again with his latest line, Don Ed Hardy. Obviously you know about this stuff, seeing as everyone from Paris Hilton to Lil Jon to the players of Inter Milan (an Italian soccer team) sport the stuff.

And I have to say: I really effing hate Ed Hardy.
Really hate Ed Hardy.
Really.

Normally, I don't care what people wear...but this line of clothing just "grinds my gears"

You with me? Let me count the ways...
1. It’s Ugly
As Dirt Nasty kindly points out, “Who had a seizure? It must have been the dude that made that tee-shirt.” Let’s go through the anatomy of a regular Ed Hardy tee, shall we?

The design itself starts out about (depending on the shirt) five inches above the hem. Nothing wrong with that, just a normal tee shirt… Except after those inoffensive few inches, it’s literally like some child took out the markers and just just drew a bunch of unrelated crap on a poor quality tee.

I get it; the images are based off of tattoo artist Ed Hardy’s work, but really Christian? What the hell do skulls; roses; tigers; hearts; eagles; top hats the words “peace,” “tattoos” and my personal favorite “love kills slowly”; have to do with each other? And why does he have to add even more ugly to the mess and plaster his name on top? Is it because it is so aesthetically important that “Christian Audigier” be scrawled across a woman’s chest? Or perhaps he envisioned a mob of men, women and children pestering – nay, DEMANDING – the wearer where they got such a cool tee.

And what makes this t-shirt different than any other graphic tee? The ugly design and the brand name? Please, I’m not wasting my money on this. Which brings me to…

2. It’s Expensive

The cheapest tee shirt on Ed Hardy’s website is $62. 62 bucks (which is approximately 10 hours working minimum wage with taxes taken out) for a 100% cotton shirt. Rhinestoned tunics can go for $176. What else can you buy for $176? A pair of jeans from J Brand, or a pair of Marc Jacobs shoes, or about seven dresses from Forever 21, or almost 2 iPhone 3G’s, or basically the amount of money you’ll spend on food from Wal-Mart during your first 2 ½ months away at school or living alone. Or, you know, you can spend that $176+ shipping and taxes on an ugly bedazzled t-shirt. It’s up to you.

3. Jon Gosselin is designing a clothing line for Audigier

This may not have to do as much with Ed Hardy as it does with its designer, but it only seems to anger me more. I’ve seen Project Runway. I’ve seen The Fashion Show. I know for a fact that there are lots of talented designers out there who don’t have the means of expressing their creativity. So Audigier looks past all of these Parsons and Central Saint Martin’s grads and lets Jon Gosselin design a kids line? Way to pick one of the top 10 people LEAST suited to design a line of children’s tees, right in between Carrot Top and Fidel Castro.

4. This guy puts his name on everything

Ed Hardy cups, air fresheners, seat covers, vodka? What the hell is Ed Hardy vodka!?

So next time you find yourself looking over one of his many shirts, don’t be “an Ed Hardy fan… aka I am a maggot” as Andy Milonakis raps, and put the item of clothing down. Then, walk over to H&M and spend that $100 on something that’s stylish and doesn’t make you look like a clueless fashion victim.

We're Livin' On The Edge!

The Dow finished October 1, 2007 at 14,066. (high)
The Dow finished March 2, 2009 at 6,627. (low)

We are currently at 9376. 9700-10K is in sights....but then, watch out!
Looking over all my data and charts, I say we are standing at the edge of a cliff.

YA...............we're LIVIN' ON THE EDGE!

The alignment says, the fix is in. The market is about to CRASH to 3,000 levels.

Don't be surprised to see an event(s) starting in late August/early September that "gives reason" for why the market tumbled, meanwhile the real reason why it's tumbling is due to the economic policies of these last 2 Presidents. We simply cannot keep spending money we don't have, having our debt monetized, and having countries like China holding US bonds. Eventually, these "chickens come home to roost". And this will lead to other international events that will not be good for us...

Don't be surprised to see bank holidays occurring this fall. And don't be surprised to see "bank runs" when people get scared they are losing everything...

Of course, this is all personal opinion....ya know, I am in no position to offer financial advice nor am I telling you what to do. But just remember March of this year when we were at 6627 I was saying we will see a ramp up to 10K by fall of 2009 before the bottom caved in...and what do ya know, we are almost there. I *pray* the above does not happen, but just in case I have made a few changes of my own.

I have shifted my 401K into treasuries and safe market accounts. Because, as I see it:
It's going to be one HELL of a fall.

When you feel like you're at the end of your rope...tie a knot baby and hold on TIGHT!

Hey...JJJaded!!

Ahh....vacation time. It feels good to be able to relax and take some time for yourself. I highly recommend it to everyone! I was at the beach today, and it always amazes me...for many reasons. First off, you'll see such a wide variety of people at a beach. Being a people watcher, I could sit there for hours and enjoy myself!

Nowadays, tho, it's SO hard to tell how old/young some of these women are. I mean, I feel like Matthew McConaughey's character in "Dazed And Confused":

"You know what I like about High School girls? I get older and they stay the same age!"

I mean, damn! I half expected Chris Hansen from Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" to pop up out of nowhere and tell me to take a seat. Thankfully, that was just my imagination! But seriously, all kidding aside...the beach is such a beautiful place for more reasons then I can post here...

But while I was there, I was thinking just how really lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place and country. And I was also thinking to myself just how jaded I am, to the fact I have been incredibly lucky in my life. I have 2 amazing sons, a family who loves me (for the most part..lol) and have never been in trouble in life. Not to mention countless friends and biz associates!

I guess what I am trying to say is not everyone is as fortunate in life, and there are also the people who don't take the time to stop for a minute and focus on the GOOD in their lives. They are too busy harping on the negative! I say, why? Cherish all the good you have in life. Focus on your family, and how lucky you are to have them. Life is WAY too short to be negative!!

While I truly believe these next 3 months are going to be a hellish time both in this country and abroad, I will be spending this time focusing on what's really important to me. Because without family and friends (and your health), what else is there?? Material things, money, etc all mean nothing if you don't have those 3 things...

So in closing, yes...the beach rocked. No, I didn't get a Phoebie Cates "Fast Times" moment (Damn!)...and always love, cherish, and keep your family close and to the heart.

It's A Mad World...

WaPo Columnist Calls Republicans "Terrorists"

Not one day after WaPo staff writer Phillip Kennicott called Republicans racist, WaPo columnist Steven Pearlstein says that Republicans that are against Obamacare are racist:

The recent attacks by Republican leaders and their ideological fellow-travelers on the effort to reform the health-care system have been so misleading, so disingenuous, that they could only spring from a cynical effort to gain partisan political advantage. By poisoning the political well, they've given up any pretense of being the loyal opposition. They've become political terrorists, willing to say or do anything to prevent the country from reaching a consensus on one of its most serious domestic problems.

Republicans are exercising our God-given right to speech--political speech, no less, which is the core of the First Amendment protection. Steven Pearlstein, apparently unfamiliar with the concept, thinks that is terrorism. Sure, he'll claim he's softening it by using the circumlocution "political terrorists"...except, isn't all terrorism political? He just wussy-worded it.

This is an extension of the same old strategy the Democrats are using to try and shut down healthy debate. Call us "the mob." Call us "terrorists." Call in the SEIU union goons to ratchet up the violence.

Fortunately, that strategy isn't working. We know we're not the mob and we know we're not terrorists. We are concerned citizens who have a right to demand answers before the Democrats burden us with more out-of-control spending and a crippled healthcare system. Steve Pearlstein is afraid that Democratic efforts to marginalize us aren't working, so he's upping the rhetoric just in time for Obama's union goons to up the violence.

Democrats are the party of rational discourse, and if you don't believe them they'll shout at you and beat you up.

I've heard that before. But where? Hmm...Can someone help me? I remember something from a radical playbook that talks about purposely drawing opponents into violent behavior. Must have lost it............

President Obama reminds me of every blackjack player I have ever known. When he is on a run, the table loves him and everyone is happy. Once he gets a bad hand, and starts to lose...he keeps "chasing" those losses, and ratcheting up the rhetoric, in hopes he once again can become liked. His TANKING poll #s show, once again, that America is by in large a right-center nation. The reason why Bush was so disliked was not only because the left hated him, but many republicans also disliked his out of control spending. Obama is doing the same exact thing here (in 6 months!), but his only difference is independents are jumping ship like it's on fire. They wanted hope and change, but not THIS type of hope and change.

This week is Shark Week and all, but I had NO IDEA it was going to be the week the President officially jumped the shark.

Violence is exactly what the Democrats wanted at these town hall meetings so their media lapdogs could blame it on the well-dressed right-wing nazi mob attending the meetings. The SEIU goons were more than happy to oblige. We're going to see more and more violence, as Republicans AND democrats are voicing their displeasure about government takeover of healthcare. Obama, the supposed "great uniter" is only concerned about ONE THING....winning. Dissenting opinions not allowed, protesters will and have been physically abused.

Obama's Democracy - Chicago deep-dish style. Yum.

I am telling you folks, end of August we will be at our stock market high...but then the bottom is going to fall out due to asinine governmental policies and we are in for one HELLISH October. Hellish Chaos both internationally and in America...

Love your familiy, keep em close, hug them tight...and cherish them. After all is said and done, family is all we have.

It's a mad world...

Agent of Chaos!

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and look where that got you.

I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan." But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!

Mmm, now we're talking.

Rock the Dodgeball!

Even if we’ve blocked out selective memories of our childhood (the dentist…I shudder at the thought), we all remember elementary school recess. Now that I’m through with my public school education for quite some time, I’ve been taking the time to reminisce about my favorite memories from those days. Man, did I love that half hour of pegging younger kids in the head with kickballs (which they totally deserved, by the way, just for being there).

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo with a window-less van parked 100 yards from a playground, here are some of my favorite games from recess that I wish were appropriate for peeps my age to play. Note: I like the games…not the kids.

Name of the Game: Four Square
Why it Rocked: Being king in a game of four square made you an automatic recess rock star. The ball was literally in your court. As there are an infinite number of possible rules for the game, from the fair and just to the downright cruel (two words: cherry bombs), the power of the king is extremely enticing. I was always partial to the “old school” set of rules – volleys, single-taps, and double-taps – since they allowed games to go on for a long time. Benevolent despotism was my style, but other rulers were not as kind. The Lemon Drop Massacre of ’87 is proof of that. And I still have nightmares.

Name of the Game: Pick-up Soccer
Why it Rocked: Although soccer isn’t known as a recess sport, it was one of the ultimate competitive games that we played in elementary school. We played in tournament style, with multiple teams all pitted against one another. The last team standing won a great deal of glory, but at a high cost: since we didn’t have referees, we could play as dirty as we wanted to with no penalty at all. The “supervising” teachers were totally clueless as to why several kids returned to class with huge grass stains on their backs and hideous scrapes on their knees. But those cuts and bruises were like badges of honor to all the soccer kids, even if we cried a little when we got them. Today's youth has grass stains on their backs and scrapes on their knees for COMPLETELY different reasons, sadly. But I digress...

Name of the Game: Wall Ball
Why it Rocked: One of the privileges that came with being the top dogs of the school (i.e. fifth graders) was access to the coveted wall ball court. Dozens of kids played at a time, taking the simple tennis ball game to the extreme. Wall ball was the pinnacle of elementary school recess for us. It was the most fast-paced, most competitive, and sweatiest of all the recess games. You had to constantly be on your toes, or else you wouldn’t catch the ball making a bee-line for your head at light speed. Or at least that’s what the injured kids would cry when the ball knocked the wind out of them. A merciless game, that wall ball. To think a little tennis ball could cause so much hurt!

And MY FAVORITE:::::

Name of the Game: Indian Pin (a slight variation on dodgeball)
Why it Rocked: Since regular dodgeball was banned in my school, we had to be a bit more creative with our recess games. Indian Pin was a favorite variation on dodgeball that we adapted from our gym class. The official object of the game was to knock down the opposing team’s pin, but since we had a bunch of kickballs and an unlimited capacity for evil, we would forget about the pins and just give the other team hell. Back in my day, I would pick off the other team’s members one by one by pegging them as HARD as I could.

I guess you could say my balls were extremely accurate.